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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:29:14 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:28:56 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:28:10 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:27:57 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:27:40 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:26:52 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:26:04 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:25:49 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:24:40 GMT
There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead traveling through the desert when their car suddenly stalls. They all get out of the car and, upon realizing that it's not going to start, they each take one thing from the car. The brunette takes a bottle of water, the redhead takes a bag of food with her, and the blonde takes the car door.
They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest. At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead and ask her why she brought the food. She replies, "Well, in case I get hungry I'll have something to eat."
They all think this is pretty reasonable and then the redhead and the blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided to bring water. The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got thirsty I'll have something to drink." They all decide that's a good idea, too.
Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde and ask her why on earth she would take the car door. She replies, "Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down the window."
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:22:33 GMT
Jim and his wife went for a stroll in their local park one evening. They sat down on a bench to rest and almost immediately could overhear voices coming from a secluded spot behind them.
Suddenly the wife realized that a young man was about to propose. Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged Jim and whispered, "Whistle and let that young couple know that someone can hear them."
Jim objected. "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me!"
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:21:39 GMT
My husband cut himself and was treated in the emergency room. Afterwards, he returned to the waiting room and I asked what kind of follow-up the doctor had prescribed.
With a totally straight face, he read from the printed sheet, "Take it easy, be waited on, and have sex t least twice a day."
At that, another man sitting nearby jumped up and exclaimed, "Whatever he's got, I want it!"
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:21:02 GMT
A couple took their son Johnny to the circus and when the elephants appeared, the Johnny seemed very intrigued by them.
"Mommy, what's that long thing on the elephant?" he asked.
"That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied.
"No, not that. What's that long thing that's hanging between the elephant's legs?" asked Johnny.
Embarrassed, the mother replied, "Oh, it's nothing, son." She then left to get some hot dogs and sodas.
While she was gone, the Johnny turned to his father and asked, "Daddy, what's that long thing hanging between the elephant's legs?"
"That's the elephant's penis, son," explained the father.
"Well, why did mommy say it was nothing when I asked her?" Johnny asked.
Taking a deep breath, Johnny father proudly replied, "I've spoiled that woman, son!"
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:19:50 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:19:39 GMT
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Post by kryten on May 28, 2017 16:17:33 GMT
The story you are about to read is true. The name(s) may have been changed to protect the stupid...
Bozo criminal for today comes from Milwaukee, Wisconsin where 19 year old bozo Thomas Hood entered an 88 year old manโs home and demanded cash. After telling our bozo he had no money, the old man faked a heart attack, at which point his glasses fell to the floor. He asked our bozo if he would please pick his glasses up for him. When he bent down to get them, the old man gave him a swift kick in the pants. He then ran to the door, shouting for help. The neighbors heard him, called the cops and our bozo was arrested.
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