A couple of Jehovah's witnesses just knocked on my door. I asked, "Is it true you people don't believe in blood transfusions?" One of them said "That's correct sir." I said "That's a shame." The other one said "Why do you say that?" I said "Because if you bang on my door again at 8.30am on a Sunday morning you're both going to need one!!
One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight.
"This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."
Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his carry-on bag and began penciling in the answers.
"This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at crosswords. It crossed his mind that if the Pope got stuck, He'd ask me for assistance."
Almost as if providence struck, the Pope turned to the man and said, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt'? The three Cardinals behind, in front of and beside him shrunk down in their seats, as far as possible, all looking for something on the floor.
The man was in morbid shock. He couldn't breathe. He went within himself, thought deeper, longer for a plausible answer and after almost a minute, the dark clouds of evil parted in his mind and the sun shone in.
Turning to the Pope, the gentleman said, with reverence and politeness,
" l believe, Your Holiness that you're looking for the word, "aunt' "
"Of course!" the Pope declared, "Do you have an eraser?"
A catholic priest says to his friend, the rabbi, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants. "I go in at well past 9.00 PM in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port and a cigar. Come 2.00 AM, as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay. Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left.' Because I am a man of the cloth, they take my word for it, and I leave."
The rabbi is impressed, and says: "Let's try it together this evening."
So the priest books them into a restaurant and come 2.00 AM they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal. Sure enough, a waiter comes over and asks them to pay. The priest just says: "I've already paid your colleague who has left."
And then the rabbi adds: "And we are still waiting for the change!"
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him; the other one, the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross. A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar behind the cross, but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite," The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!
LMP: Anyone any idea how many continental hours there are in one Canadian hour?
Dec 14, 2017 10:56:26 GMT
bamber: Certainly isn't 1:1.
Dec 14, 2017 15:18:57 GMT
squirt: I'll tap him on the shoulder today: his email said the import is going to take a long time, cuz of all the threads, posts and users, said it could take a few days
Dec 14, 2017 16:41:44 GMT
bamber: He's signed on to the Roo right now.
Dec 14, 2017 17:00:15 GMT
squirt: hopefully that means that we can soon! lol ♥
Dec 14, 2017 17:11:36 GMT
squirt: it's back up, and ya'll prepare yourselves, it's DIFFERENT! lol
Dec 15, 2017 3:15:06 GMT
roadkill: i cant seem to get on the roo..says oops there is a problem page can not be found..i was there on my other laptop
Dec 20, 2017 20:55:16 GMT
sexylady007: Last night I was able to post for about 10 minutes then this pop back up
Your account is currently awaiting confirmation. Confirmation was sent to Lailaisfree@sbcglobal.net. Resend confirmation email
Now I can't post again I tried to reset it but it's
Jan 3, 2018 14:35:40 GMT
sexylady007: Bamber would you please move where is the music from the video section to the music section thank you sorry I put it in the wrong section. Still can't do anything at the Roo
Jan 3, 2018 16:23:09 GMT
manzy: I let Bamber and squirt know about your message sis
Jan 3, 2018 17:03:44 GMT
bamber: OK Laila I've moved that thread.
Jan 3, 2018 17:17:52 GMT
bamber: You should be OK again on the Roo Laila; I'll PM you too.
Jan 3, 2018 17:20:32 GMT
sexylady007: Thank you Bamber & manzy
Jan 3, 2018 17:21:09 GMT