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Post by bamber on Jan 27, 2015 13:40:38 GMT
Some more bad similes:
Unable to contain his rage, he burst like a pimple of emotion, the pus of his fury streaking the mirror of calm in the bathroom of his life.
Then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a Porsche on the Autobahn.
The horizon swallowed the setting sun like a dog sucking an egg, but not quite.
The information embedded on the stolen computer chip was like an explosive so explosive it could explode, creating a massive explosion.
She was like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, three hundred pounds, and full of ice.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
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Post by bamber on Jan 27, 2015 13:41:14 GMT
If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
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Post by bamber on Jan 27, 2015 13:56:17 GMT
We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.
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Post by muchtrouble on Jan 27, 2015 15:14:45 GMT
I love them all... They may be mixed, but they are so colorful.
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Post by bamber on Jan 27, 2015 16:19:08 GMT
May as well get hung for a sheep as a ham.
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Post by squirt on Jan 28, 2015 3:48:24 GMT
If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. lmao ...
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Post by squirt on Jan 28, 2015 3:49:22 GMT
I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole!
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Post by bamber on Jan 28, 2015 6:36:08 GMT
My favourite radio comedy, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, has some great finishing lines about time running out...
...and so, as we rapidly approach the bus stop of the Apocalypse, I notice that the Four Horsemen have all come along at the same time...
...and so, as I notice the eternal flame of hope has just been put out by the fire officer of destiny with the sand bucket of fate...
...and so, as the frisky tom-cat of fate confronts the scalpel of destiny, and the precious natural woodland of time meets the motorway extension of eternity...
...and so, as the boiling water of time collides with the sweet and sour instant pot snack of fate, I notice that the tomato sauce sachet of destiny has been accidentally left inside...
...and so, as the dandruff of time is confronted by the Head And Shoulders of destiny, and the single sock of fate succumbs to the twin-tub of eternity...
...and so, as the plastic duck of destiny has been sunk by the loofah of fate, and Old Father Time has gone wrinkly in the bath water of eternity, it must be time to pick out the short hairs of hope from the plug hole of infinity...
...and so, as the delicate mayfly of time collides with the speeding windscreen of fate, and the angry wasp of destiny flies up the trouser leg of despair...
...and so, as the fluff-ball of time pops out of the navel of destiny, and the nylon underpants of fate ride uncomfortably up the cleft of despair...
...and so, as the salad fork of time lifts aloft the hidden slug of fate towards the open mouth of eternity, and the hibernating tortoise of hope explodes in the microwave of infinity...
...and so, as the short-sighted rhino of time attempts to mount the VW Beetle of eternity, and the rubber glove of hope gets lost in the Aberdeen Angus of destiny...
...and so, as Grandfather Time takes an absent-minded swig from Granny Time's denture mug...
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Post by squirt on Jan 29, 2015 19:38:04 GMT
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Post by squirt on Jan 29, 2015 19:38:22 GMT
take a flying kite! lol
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Post by geoffthebeard on Jan 30, 2015 14:25:12 GMT
My favourite radio comedy, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, has some great finishing lines about time running out...
...and so, as we rapidly approach the bus stop of the Apocalypse, I notice that the Four Horsemen have all come along at the same time...
...and so, as I notice the eternal flame of hope has just been put out by the fire officer of destiny with the sand bucket of fate...
...and so, as the frisky tom-cat of fate confronts the scalpel of destiny, and the precious natural woodland of time meets the motorway extension of eternity...
...and so, as the boiling water of time collides with the sweet and sour instant pot snack of fate, I notice that the tomato sauce sachet of destiny has been accidentally left inside...
...and so, as the dandruff of time is confronted by the Head And Shoulders of destiny, and the single sock of fate succumbs to the twin-tub of eternity...
...and so, as the plastic duck of destiny has been sunk by the loofah of fate, and Old Father Time has gone wrinkly in the bath water of eternity, it must be time to pick out the short hairs of hope from the plug hole of infinity...
...and so, as the delicate mayfly of time collides with the speeding windscreen of fate, and the angry wasp of destiny flies up the trouser leg of despair...
...and so, as the fluff-ball of time pops out of the navel of destiny, and the nylon underpants of fate ride uncomfortably up the cleft of despair...
...and so, as the salad fork of time lifts aloft the hidden slug of fate towards the open mouth of eternity, and the hibernating tortoise of hope explodes in the microwave of infinity...
...and so, as the short-sighted rhino of time attempts to mount the VW Beetle of eternity, and the rubber glove of hope gets lost in the Aberdeen Angus of destiny...
...and so, as Grandfather Time takes an absent-minded swig from Granny Time's denture mug...
Come back Humph!
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Post by squirt on Jan 30, 2015 19:42:13 GMT
he’s not the one with his ass in a noose
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Post by squirt on Feb 1, 2015 3:33:20 GMT
a heart as big as gold
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Post by bamber on Feb 3, 2015 13:32:26 GMT
Some more "Clue" closers...
...and so, as the sleepy toad of time confronts the whirling hover-mower of destiny, and the unsuspecting dog of complacency cocks a leg at the electric fence of fate...
...and so, as the absent-minded zookeeper of time scrubs his loo with the startled bush-baby of hope, and the frisky King Penguin of fate approaches the small nun of destiny...
...and so, as the rogue purple underpants of time begin their assault on the whites-only wash cycle of destiny, and the twin buttocks of fate are sucked into the malfunctioning chemical toilet of eternity...
...and so, as the flatulent skunk of time wanders into the air conditioning system of eternity, and the piranha fish of fate circles hungrily in the bidet of destiny...
...and so, as the grubby raincoat of time opens to reveal the upright Member of Parliament, and the categorical denial of destiny is swiftly followed by the resignation letter of fate...
...and so, as the Little Jack Horner of time pulls out his plums of fate, and the Little Tommy Tucker of destiny looks for a rhyme we can broadcast...
...and so, as the sleeping princess of time lies undisturbed on the pea of fate, thanks to the rubber bedsheet of eternity...
...and so, ladies and gentlemen, as the three-toed sloth of time dozes in the rainforest of eternity, and the three toads decide to make good their escape...
...and so, as the actress of time and the bishop of fate go into the pub of destiny, and the landlord of eternity says "Is this some kind of joke?"...
...and so, as the trawlermen of time pick the cod of hope out of the fishnets of fate, and then the haddock of happiness out of the frilly panties of despair...
...as the housewife of time adjusts her lipstick in the mirror of destiny, and the cyclist of fate disappears under her speeding four-by-four...
...and so, ladies and gentlemen, as the lone piper of time appears at the gates of dawn, and Dawn throws open the window and tells him where to stick his bagpipes...
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Post by squirt on Feb 3, 2015 22:25:47 GMT
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