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Post by roadkill on Jan 19, 2017 16:24:51 GMT
01-26-2016, 05:12 AM
as i sit here tonight...my mind is racing...thoughts of yesterdays gone by and thoughts of today...they want to blend together and it is making it hard to separate the two...so i will close my eyes and see what picture stops moving.. as i focus on that one scene i find myself wandering along a dirt path...the tiny stones sticking to the soles of my sneakers...i see a bend in the path just up ahead and on that bend is an owl siting on a low hanging white pine limb...in my culture an owl represents change...as i try to hear what the owl is telling me i begin to feel a soft breeze at my back...i turn and see an elder beckoning me to move forward..i listen to the elder and continue on with my slow paced walk...taking in my surroundings...the mix of tall evergreens and hardwoods..seem to be dancing with the wind...an eagle cries out from way up high...his graceful flight always leaves me in awe...they are such a majestic bird that the Creator has gifted us with...i continue to walk and i come upon a lake...it's waters are crystal clear..i bend and take a drink of the glacier cold lake...to quench my thirst...i see a family of otters at play across the far shore with not a care...there are deer and moose in abundance...they seem to be drinking to satisfy the need to be nourished..i sit and watch until the blue sky begins to change to a yellow red violet masterpiece as if the Creator has once again taken out his paint brush and ever so carefully stroked it across a canvas...before long the sun sinks on the horizon to hide hits face...drifting off to that secret place where it sleeps..i stand and stretch..i give thanks to the creator for the gift of this amazing day..i begin my long walk back home where i know i will sleep peacefully
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Post by roadkill on Jan 19, 2017 16:25:07 GMT
01-27-2016, 04:42 AM
as another day has come to a close and my mind aches for the rest it so richly deserves...i find i once again am brought to a place of peace...there is a soft breeze blowing on my face and it is beginning to snow...i look skyward and open my mouth to catch the little white flakes on my tongue as i so often did as a child..i begin to watch each flake find it's own little place on the ground to rest from the long journey it has just taken...the light from my porch reflects on the fresh snow and glistens on them...the reflection reminds my tiny little diamonds dancing to it's own music..there is a fresh scent that tickles my nose and relaxes me..there is the sound of a lone wolf howling in the distance..he sounds so mournful as if he can't find his mate...shortly there after i hear another wolf howl in the opposite direction..it is not long before they are singing to each other..i assume it is the mate...as my eyes begin to feel heavy i know it is time for me to find my warm bed knowing that i will once again sleep peacefully
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Post by roadkill on Jan 19, 2017 16:25:18 GMT
01-28-2016, 06:41 AM
as i close my eyes tonight to slow my mind i begin to see a sky full of stars...shining like the most precious gems..twinkling on pitch black canvas...a shooting star blasts past following the earth's horizon in an arc...it's long white trail seems to last forever...there is not a sound to be heard other than the rustling of the trees as they sway back and forth..in the cold breeze...i can tell it will be a cold clear night as i feel the temperature slowly drop on my skin...i begin to gather wood and kindling to make myself a small fire...with the flames now reflecting on the ground around it i feel it's warmth as i sit on my bed roll in front of it...i open a can of stew and place it on the rock nearest the heat...it is then that i hear the snapping of a twig and turn to discover an old man walking towards me..his face showing years of struggle...i wave and holler to him to come sit and warm yourself...i share with him my stew and he begins to tell me of the years gone by...how he fought to protect this land and the four-legged brothers and sisters...how greed of others had almost destroyed a whole peoples...and came close to wiping out the animals that freely roamed these lands..he tells of a time when children were forcefully removed form their families and taken to schools where they were never to speak their native tongue and hair was forcefully cut from their heads..all in the name of religion...little ones were beaten into submission to obey the rules forced upon them...his eyes swelled with tears as did mine as he told his story..i say to him that i too know this story as it was not that long ago that the last school closed...as he stands and hugs me and begins to walk away...he yells back and he says to me to remember God and religion are not the same...God lives in us...religion lives in a building..love each other as God loves you..he then vanishes in the darkness...as i put out the flames my eyes get heavy and i drift off to that other realm..where i find peace and rest
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Post by roadkill on Jan 19, 2017 16:25:29 GMT
01-29-2016, 06:14 AM
tonight has i begin to slow down my mind...i close my eyes and focus as the pictures go racing by..i begin to see names that have no faces and faces that have no names..as i struggle to concentrate and i begin to feel frustration setting in..a strong yet gentle hand gets placed on my shoulder from behind and the voice says..it is ok...let it go...i take a long deep breath and slowly exhale..i feel a calm come over me...i realize then that it is ok to have times when i don't recall someone or something...those that remember who i was will be patient with me and those that don't won't matter..but that won't stop me from reaching out in their time of need...if i am true to myself...things will always work out for good..when i look in the mirror i need to love that person looking back at me...i just need to be reminded of this from time to time when the anxiety begins to want to take over...my eyes are getting heavey now and soon i will find my special place where i will once again find rest and peace
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Post by roadkill on Jan 19, 2017 16:25:42 GMT
01-30-2016, 06:08 AM
as i slow my mind down from a very busy but productive day...i close my eyes and begin to see a full moon smiling down on me...it is so big and bright i feel i can reach out and touch it...there is a cold nip in the air that makes me feel refreshed...like when you put a peppermint on your tongue and the flavor reaches your nose...i hear the wolves off in the distance like a orchestra playing in a large hall...there voices echoing through the vast wilderness...i hear an owl hoot from a nearby tree to add its voice to the music of nature that surrounds me...the snow crunches under my warm winter boots of... deer hide covering the soft rabbit fur which lines the inside... as i walk slowing through the hard packed snow..this tells me that it is going to be a very cold night..i begin to make a small fire as not to get too cold...nights like these are my favorite to enjoy the beauty that was gifted by the Creator...when it is cold like this the animals are on the move trying to stay warm...as i stare into the flames from my fire i see the smoke rising high into the vast heavens...it is then that offer tobacco and i give thanks to Creator for all his love and kindness..i thank Him for the love of old friends and..and the friends i have made along this journey..some have stayed and some have gone...but their memories will always be engraved in my heart...i hope they know how much they have meant to me and any good deed they have done or do will never be forgotten..my eyes are getting heavy now...so i cover my fire with snow and soon i will be in that other realm where rest and peace will welcome me
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Post by roadkill on Jan 19, 2017 16:25:53 GMT
01-31-2016, 05:31 AM
tonight as i try to slow my mind from a day that was filled with time spent in grease to my elbows helping a great friend repair a snowmobile...i was reminded that i am not as young as i once was...my eyes are puffy and my ribs hurt from laughing in a way i have not done for some time...it was a day of renewing my heart and my soul...i was reminded today that it is not always the sad tears that cleanse me but the good ones as well...in another area of my life...i have been able to let go of some hurt and confusion that i have been carrying as extra weight on my heart...today was a great day...i do not know what tomorrow will bring or where it will find me...but that is the future and the future hasn't happened yet... so no need to concern myself with that...another thing i was reminded of was that i like seafood...my friend's wife had prepared a wonderful platter of shrimp,crab,and scallops...i was not sure about the supper meal...but i was not about to pass up a meal that i did not have to cook...turns out i loved it and almost made a pig of myself...lol...so tonight as my eyes get heavy i know i will rest peacefully and completely..knowing i helped a friend..and found forgiveness inside me
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:09:37 GMT
02-01-2016, 05:33 AM
as i begin tonight to slow my mind...i close my eyes and focus on that one special frame...the curtains are slowly raised and i begin to see a crystal clear lake that mirrors the moon and stars above perfectly...not a ripple to be seen...there is no breeze to allow the tall pines to dance..yet they are very content just being still...they give off a fragrance that can only be smelled when one pays attention...not like those car air fresheners you buy at a gas station..theirs is very subtle...ever so pleasant to the senses..as i stare out across the lake i hear a pair of mourning doves cooing nearby..i hear the wolves singing to one another in the distance...i prepare a small fire and settle in for the night..rolling out my sleeping bag and getting my coffee pot ready...it is so good to taste coffee without the after taste of chlorine that the cities use in their water...there is nothing that tastes as pure as glacier lake water...adding more wood to my fire the sparks float high over head...red/orange gems that look like little fairies dancing against a dark background...as lie in my bed for the night...staring up at all the stars..i can see the milky way so bright...that if i did not know the difference i would say it was smog..what a sight to behold in my memories...my eyes begin to get heavy and soon i will pass from this realm into the one i call dreamland where i find rest and peace that i can only get there
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:09:48 GMT
02-03-2016, 04:20 AM
tonight as i slow my mind i close my eyes to focus..letting the frames stop where the will...i begin to see a small cabin in the distance,,,it's wooden walls a pale grey-blue color from years of rain and heavy snow...as i get closer i see that there is a lantern hanging from a rusty spike near the front door...walking towards the cabin cautiously yet unafraid of what may be lurking inside..i slowly make my way up the porch stairs..although they creak under my weight...they are surprisingly sturdy...like someone is still living here...the outside has been lovingly cared for..i notice off to my right...a small garden still full of vegetables...now i am sure this place is not vacant or hasn't been for very long..there is a small swing ...where 2 people would sit comfortably yet very cozy... to my left on the deck of the rustic porch..the windows are covered with the old canvas roll down shades yet are free from dust...i know i am not alone or won't be for very long ... to be continued....
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:10:00 GMT
02-04-2016, 04:49 AM
suddenly i hear a female voice from behind me asking..may i help you...i turn quickly and say..i was just out for a walk when i came upon your cabin..from a distance it looks abandoned...i was just being curious...as i got closer i could tell that someone lives here...she said well don't just stand there..go pick some potatoes and carrots from the garden...and some peas as well...i say yes ma'me and i do as she says...as she wanders inside and leaves the door open for me...with an armful of vegetables i enter into the cabin and there in the middle of the floor is a huge wooden table she points to and i unload the cache on to it..she says to me... sit boy... tea will be ready shortly...it is then that i realize i am no longer a grown man but a child of maybe 6 yrs old...the cabin now looks famuilair to me..it is where my grampa and granny lived...she says to me go get washed up and peel them veggies for supper...your grampa will be back soon...to continued
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:10:14 GMT
02-05-2016, 04:18 AM
...i had washed my hands in an white porcelain basin that had painted pink carnations on the sides..the water was cool to the touch..i then proceeded to peel the potatoes and carrots and shucked the peas..i then placed then in round galvanized tub and handed them to granny...she began to cut the potatoes and carrots into bite-size chunks...i watch attentively as she worked that knife to perfection...each chunk the same size..then she poured fresh water over them and threw in the peas...she placed the tub on a white wood cookstove..just then i hear grampa coming up the dirt drive..i rushed to the window and granny said..go on boy go see him i know you are dying to..keep him occupied while i finish gettin' supper ready...well i didn't need to be told twice out the door i raced and leaped right into grampa's waiting arms..i can't ever recall him not catching me...he hugged me with those huge hands of his...rough like a wood rasp but gentle was his touch..i could feel the love flowing through them..he was a blacksmith and i loved the smell of him as i snuggled his neck..grann y hollers out the window suppers ready...not get in here you fools before it gets cold...it is then that the light slowly fades and once again i find myself looking at an old worn down vacant cabin...i realize..it was just some fond memories of a granny an grampa the i always felt safe with running once more through my mind..i begin walking home...but the smell of fresh veggie soup and the familiar fragrance of my grampa stayed with me all the way home...my eyes are heavy now and begin to close...soon i will once more be in that cabin as a little 6 yr old boy...even if it is only in my dreams tonight
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:10:27 GMT
02-06-2016, 05:17 AM
tonight as i close my eyes to get my mind slowed down...a feeling of anxiety washes over me...did i hurt someone today?...did my words get misunderstood?...did they come out of my mouth different from the ones in my heart?...i know it happens...i am not so schooled smart...i never have been...words that i think i know the meaning to sometimes mean something completely different...my entire drug and alcohol free life has been a roller coaster of..survivor guilt..self doubt..unworthy of being liked.let alone loved...i will let people down...i am not perfect...i struggle to find answers to questions asked...i can't remember my grand kids names at times..earlier today i stood at an ATM...i forgot how to use it...i just walked home where i knew i would be safe
02-06-2016, 02:55 PM today is a new day..yesterday is gone
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:10:39 GMT
02-08-2016, 07:35 AM
tonight as i slow my mind...i feel a chill in the air...one that just ever so slightly touches your face to say i am here for a while yet...a day of snow..where the flakes stick to the clothing like a moth gets drawn into the light of a small fire that burns low...leaving red hot coals to dance among the rocks containing them...there is a low whisper of wind brushing against the branches of the tall evergreens...to remind me that the snow is a blanket that warms and protects those things that sleep underneath it..the embers of the fire mirror off the white icy crystals...giving them a life of their own...looking around i can see the bare hardwoods...i am reminded that their sap.their life blood is staying warm in the roots protected by this white blanket...i hear the wolves singing their song again tonight...i can almost see their warm breath reaching up in the chilly air to touch the soft flakes causing them to half melt before they find their own little safe spot among those already lying there...i feel so content observing all the gifts the Creator as allowed me to enjoy..my mind has slowed and my eyes are heavy..it has been a good day,,,with friends and family..i soon will reach that place where i find rest for my body and peace for my mind
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:10:51 GMT
02-10-2016, 08:42 AM
tonight as i slow my mind from a day that has seemed to just disappear...i close my eyes and let out a sigh..where did this day go?...i begin to focus on the color that has stopped...i feel cold wind blowing at my back...it is strong enough to lift the white snow flakes that had found rest from the day before...they begin swirling like a dust storm...causing my eyes to squint...trying to avoid them from entering my eyes...among the tall pines i see the flicker of a fire..i start walking towards it..each step becoming harder to take...the wind has caused the snow to drift along my path...creating small mounds that i walk through and over...with each lift of my feet..i feel i am beginning to climb a mountain...i can still see the small fire ahead...i continue to strive to reach my goal...as i top the mountain...i can tell that the flicker of the fire is just across this tiny valley..starting my decent...the snow gets deep and deeper...i realize that this is where the floating flakes have found refuge from the cold winter wind..they seemed to have huddled together to provide strength to the smaller weaker ones...each step is becoming more difficult...making me ask myself if i will ever make it to the warmth of the fire i see burning in the shelter of the tall pines..as hard has it has become i must continue my journey..though the snow has become deep than my thighs...i am sheltered from that bitterly cold breath of winter..the snow has become like mud to walk through..unable to lift my legs high enough..i plow through it...cold wet and exhausted i have reached the fire and there sits an old man...with a hot cup of spruce tea and serving of bannock still warm from the fires heat...he jesters me to sit and warm myself...i says to him...i did not think i would make it to this place..i seen the light from the flames of your fire from the other side of this valley...the walk was hard and exhausting but well worth the struggle to get here...thank you for the tea and bannock...he replies..my son i had seen you as well...i lit this fire to give you a direction to follow along your path...i watched you struggle and felt you almost give up..but you didn't..i knew you would not fail to reach me...you see my son...when i knew the exhaustion was too much... that is when reached out and i pulled you through...with those words he disappeared and i felt rested and at peace..my eyes heavy i finished the tea...and fell into that other realm where my mind rests and and my body sleeps
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:11:02 GMT
02-11-2016, 07:51 AM
tonight as i sit and ponder the days events..i have had a day of reckonings...i felt the pain from words that hold no truth and how much they can hurt me...and realize that it is myself to blame..i gave them the power to hurt me...when i realized what was being done to me... i was very upset that i allowed it to happen....so tonight i took back my power... never again will i fall into a circumstance that allows me to forget who i am...so i will forgive those words...noting that they felt i was not worthy of the truth.
as i close my eyes to slow my mind i begin to see a man that was once so sure of who he was inside...now filled with doubt...was the mirror also not being truthful in it's reflection...he stands and turns to the small basin filled with water and cups his hands to capture as much of the coolness as he can,,,then splashes it onto his face...reaching for a small towel he begins to dry off..all the time staring into the square bathroom mirror...he starts to see the images transform into a dark stormy forest that you would see in a horror movie...as much as he is shocked to see what he sees he can not look away..he can only stand there an watch things begin to unravel behind the glass..there is a strong wind blowing through the forest causing leaves and limbs to be strewn about...like a small tornado has them in its grip...the small pebbles of gravel from the worn path are flying through the air like bullets during a fire-fight...the man's eyes widen in fear yet he can not look away...his body has become stone-like in that he cant move from where he stands..he can only watch as the chaos in front of him unfolds...people running to find shelter and safety from the storms grasp..he sees a young child trip and fall...nobody stopping to help this young boy...the man yells at the mirror...what is wrong with you people..can you not see the child as you run over him?...he screams my god someone help that boy...yet no one hears him..just as he was about to break free from his stone-like trance and bust through the glass to help the boy...he feels a hand on his shoulder...then and only then can he turn to see an old friend that had passed away many years before....startled he says to his friend..but how why have you come..are you not aware that you died many years ago?...are you here to take me with you,,is that why you have come?...his friend answers no brother i am here to save you..to prevent you from making the biggest mistake you would ever make...those images that you see are not real..they are only thoughts that have entered into your mind to tempt you to become one of them..they know your over whelming desire for protecting others..they use that strength to weaken you...i am here to protect you from them that hold no truth and with those words his friend is gone and the man once again turns to the mirror and only sees himself looking back...no storm.. no chaos..only himself and the truth...the thoughts of a new day and new beginnings are all he needs to push through...my eyes are heavy now and soon my mind will rest allowing sleep to wash over me
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Post by roadkill on Jan 20, 2017 1:11:15 GMT
02-12-2016, 02:44 AM tonight there will no new color...there will be 2 old ones..this morning i got a phone call that the man that these colors is about...is dying in the hospital...i spent all day with him and his wife..so tonight as a tribute to my best friend mentor and more like a brother..i will honor his life with my most fond memories of him.....rest peacefully my brother...i will miss you deeply but remember you fondly this the first one Originally Posted by roadkill this cold i have is keeping me awake...so i will write what my mind sees...there is a cold wind coming out of the north...with it the first snows of the year...this is what my eyes see...now lets see what my mind sees closing my eyes i see a small log cabin...i remember building this with a friend...we trapped the land that winter...it was another turning point in my life...i learned to respect the land and all its creatures...the snow was falling heavy this day...and the traps needed checked on...my friend feeling under the weather asked if i would check them on my own...of course i told him i would...taking a small lunch in my pack i set out on my own in snowshoes...the temperature was about -20c...for that time of year it was actually pleasant...it was mid-december...two weeks before Christmas and the first drop off of the furs...we had planned on remaining on the line until the 22nd of december...spending the holiday with family and then returning to the cabin on the 27th...as i set out the snow and wind picked up..it was getting harder and harder to see...soon the snow was falling so hard my footprints were being filled in...i found a cedar swamp and decided to wait it out a bit to see if the snow would let up(to be continued) huddled in amongst the cedars...i am out of the wind...i feel i have been walking for hours...i look at my pocket watch and see that i have been on the trail only an hour...i normally walk 3mph so with all this new snow and in snowshoes i estimate i am about 1 1/2 miles from the cabin...meaning i have another 12 1/2 miles left to walk to make the complete circle and get all the traps checked and reset...i need to see the landmarks that i use to be able to make the trek safely...i consider turning back...but a promise was made to my friend that i would get the job done...i leave the comfort of the cedars and make my way to the first trap...covered in snow i find the trap empty and unchanged..so i leave and head down the trail to look for the second one...the snow is getting heavier and deeper with every few feet i travel...walking through an old cut there is very little shelter from the weather...even with the snowshoes i am sinking to my knees...my legs are begining to burn as the lactic acid builds up...i begin to realize that i need to find shelter and quickly...i am never going to get this job done in this weather...my need to survive kicks in...i make it across the open field and into the dense forest...i remove one of the snow shoes and use it as a shovel to dig a fire pit...i break off some dry twigs from an old spruce tree and peel off some birch bark as fire starter...i knock off the snow from an over hanging balsam branch so it doesn't melt and put out my fire....gathering enough dry wood for a few hours i sit back and watch the fire as it warms me...with the snow and wind not letting up i knew i was in trouble when the light of day began to fade...it was either bunker down for the night or attempt to make my way blindly back to the cabin...my instincts took over and i settled in for a long cold night..i knew if my friend was worried enough he would attempt to find me..so i arose and tied some trail tape to a tree at the edge of the clearing where i was hunkered down...i began to pray that my friend would know that what he had taught me had sunk into my skull and he would stay put in the warm cabin...knowing that i would do my best to survive the night in the storm...i ate a small portion of the lunch i had packed ..saving enough for breakfast the next morning...i took the tea pail from my pack and filled it with snow..adding more as it began to melt from the fire..soon i had a hot pot of tea...this seemed to comfort me and i became relaxed enough to realize that if i didn't panic i would be fine...i gathered more wood...some dry and some green...this would keep the fire going longer and create a smoke for anyone looking for me...i took out a small tarp from my survival pack and made a leantoo with it...this allowed the heat from the fire to circulate around me...i was begining to actually enjoy being out there by myself...i was comfortable and had hot tea...some time during the night i drifted off to sleep...this is when it happened...i dreamt that i was back in the days of old...there was a native village where women and children and the men of the camp went about their daily routines...i heard the chants of their songs as they sang...then i seen my friends face...he looked worried and i told him i was alright and to stay put..i know it was only a dream...as the fire died down i awoke to the coldness...i put more wood on and warmed up quickly...i looked at my pocket watch and the time was 4am...the snow had stopped and the wind had died...i looked skyward and seen the most stars that i had ever seen at one time..it was so beautiful..words cannot describe their beauty...i was at peace with myself knowing that i had done everything right..i boiled some more tea and waited for the sun to lighten the sky....when daylight came a put on the snowshoes and put out the fire...i ate the rest of my food and made my way out to the clearing...i removed the trail tape from the tree and headed back to camp...upon arriving at the cabin i removed my snowshoes and went inside...my friend hugged me and gave me a warm cup of coffee...as we sat talking of what had happened he apologized for sending me on my own...i told him that it was not his doing and that i was being taught something...i told him of my dream...he said he had the exact same dream when he was going to look for me..i asked him if you were going to look for me then how was it a dream to you...this is when he told me that dreams come in many forms..you can have them when wide awake...he heard me tell him that i was okay and to stay put...this is when i told him of this gift i have been given and had it since early childhood...my grand father used to help me understand them but when he passed away there was no one i could turn to...i told him of how angry i had become and how i tried to avoid them by becoming someone that i didn't like very much...but that i had entered a program to get clean...then he told me his story and about his demons that he battled...he understood where i had been and where i wanted to be...with his guidence i began to accept the things i see and not run from them...we made it back to our families for the holiday and we did return to finish that winter in that small cabin and on the trap line...it was a special time of growing for me...he taught me much of what it means to be native...although my skin maybe white..i have the gifts from the Grandfathers...he calls me his white indian child...my friend is now in his late sixties and is blind from diabetes...however his sight for the things unseen by many is 20/20...he still helps me to grow in the old ways this is the 2nd one.. tonight as i try to slow down my mind i am reminded of the time on the trap line when things were going well...the day time temperature broke above -30 c....the sun was almost warm...the suns rays reflected off the pure white snow giving the snow a blue tint...the pines trees were blanketed with snow..the sky was i very light pastel blue...without a single cloud...the scenery looked like a picture you would see on a puzzle...my friend and i started the day as usual...a warm fire and a hot breakfast with a pot of strong coffee... after we ate and the place cleaned up we headed out into the day...the snow had stiffened up overnight and it made for easy snowshoeing...the crunch of the snow as we ventured along told me that it had gotten quite cold during the night...there was fresh moose tracks down the middle of the trail...my friend decided that if we were going to spend the whole winter out here then meat was a necessity...we began to follow the tracks where they led...after an hour of tracking this moose my friend knew exactly where it was headed...he told me to continue to follow the tracks while he would circle around and get ahead of the moose...it was a gorgeous day to be out amongst nature...as i walked i thought about my life up to this point and all the mistakes i had made and all the people i hurt...i began to feel a calm come over me as i took inventory of my life...i thought of my parents and what i had put them through...i heard a shot ring out and echo through the hills...i knew my friend had had been provided the winter's meat...you see i believe that animals give their life so that we as humans can live...and there is a great deal of respect for them....i caught up to my friend and we began to prepare the meat for travel back to the camp...it was going to take many trips and it was getting late into the day...the sun was already starting its journey to where it sleeps...my friend had decided that it was a good idea to stay out here with the moose for the night so that we could keep it from the other predators...there where many wolves around and the ravens would take what the wolves didn't...so we made camp and settled in for another cold night on the trail...this time i was not alone and felt this would be a good time....well i was once again amazed at the power of nature....well into the night the temperature dropped to -50c with a strong north wind...the wind cut through us like a hot knife through butter...no matter we tried to get warm it just wasn't going to happen...this is when i did something i never thought i would have....my friend told me that we would have to stay warm if we were going to survive the night...that is when he said that we must crawl into the body cavity of the moose...we turned the moose so that the opening was facing south...i was astounded by the warmth that this animal still had...we both crawled inside..him first then me...the high winds had been blowing the snow all around us and soon we were in a cave like environment...our body heat and the heat from the moose had made it quiet comfortable...although i never slept that night i had learned another valuable lesson on how my environment can change so fast...and i can apply this lesson in my life now as things i have no control over can come crashing down on me and cause me anxiety....when things like this happen i think back to all the trials and lessons i was taught that winter...the storms of life will come and will pass and i will survive them. you are now with Creator my brother...you have fought the good fight...now find your rest in His arms..love always...your friend brother and student. mii'gwiitch for all those time spent together and the joys we shared..i will look for you in the Morning Star bro...rest peacefully i met with your wife again today on the rez..she is such a strong spirit..instead of me comforting her...she raised my spirit..my how your son has grown...and doing well for himself...i brought tears to my eyes as he still calls me uncle...you raised a fine boy there..strong in the ways..the stories that were told...had has all laughing through our tears...you have left me my friend with many stories that i will pass onto my own...miigweetch...my brother well my brother it has been quite the day..your fire is burning and being watched over by the young ones...i will say good night now and plowing through to a new dawn with the rising of the sun in the east....i will say thank you my brother..rest well in Creators Glory well my brother another day is drawing to a close...another day of fighting off my demons...it is so hard to say what i am feeling right at this very moment...but i do know you are here with me..(((miigweetch brother))) well brother..today we reunited your body to Mother Earth..rest peacefully until that day we shall meet again ((((miigweetch))))
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