A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. she let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Lets have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then...
......," he signed,..... "Let's put all of these frosted flakes back into the box."
Last Edit: Sept 12, 2016 8:50:45 GMT by stevent222
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
There's a blond and a brunette in a car. The brunette is driving while the blonde is in the passenger seat. They're going down a steep hill when the brunette realizes that the brakes don't work. The brunette tells the blonde that the brakes don't work and they will drive off the side of the cliff because they failed to stop. The blonde then replies, "Don't worry! There's a stop sign ahead."
There was once a blonde woman on a plane to Detroit. She was in the economy class, but after takeoff, she saw an empty seat in first class and moved there. An attendant saw her and said, "Excuse me, ma'am, but you have a ticket for economy class, not first. You cannot stay here." The blonde replied, "I can and I will." The attendant told the copilot, who came and talked to the woman. "Ma'am, we really can't have you staying in this seat, your ticket was for economy." "You can't make me move." The copilot told the captain, who tried to talk her out of the seat but it didn't work. Finally, a man who had heard what had been going on told the attendant to let him have a go at getting the woman out of the seat because he was married to a blonde too, so he knew how to deal with her. After a quick chat with her, she moved. The shocked attendant asked him how he did it. The man replied, "I told her first class wasn't going to Detroit."
Two Blonds rob a bank and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?" "Half a million" "Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?" "I bought a house. How about your sack?" "Bah... it was full of bills" "And what did you do with them?" "Eh well . . . little by little, I'm paying them off .
A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt. 'Why are you wearing a 'Thank God It's Friday' tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't realize it was a religious t-shirt. I thought it meant – 'Tits Go In Front.''
· It’s okay if you’re a little bottom heavy. · Hold your ground, even when the heat is on. · Wearing white is always appropriate. · Winter is the best of the four seasons. · It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection. · There’s nothing better than a foul weather friend. · The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul. · We’re all made up of mostly water. · You know you’ve made it when they write a song about you. · Avoid yellow snow. Don’t get too much sun. · It’s embarrassing when you can’t look down and see your feet. · It’s fun to hang out in your front yard. · There’s no stopping you once you’re on a roll!
Last Edit: Nov 28, 2016 21:10:50 GMT by stevent222
A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go To my apartment, I hear someone coming." He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now nude, she purred at him, “What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, “It has to be your ears." Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100% natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin – not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"Clearing his throat, he stammered... "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."
I pulled in to the crowded car park at the local shopping center and rolled down the car windows to make sure my new puppy has sufficient air. She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon her that she must stay there. I walked backwards to the kerb, pointing my finger and saying emphatically "Stay! Stay!" A blonde in a nearby car, gave me a strange look and said, "Why don't you put the handbrake on ??
A blonde had to appear in court as a witness. The prosecutor asked her, "Where were you the night of 5th September?" "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "It's irrelevant!" "Oh, that's okay," said Edna from the witness stand. "I can answer that question." "I object!" the defense said again. "No, really," said Edna. "I don't mind giving the answer." The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object." So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of 5th September?" Edna replied brightly, "I don't know."
A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at "Lovers Cove" where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
"NO!" yelled the blonde.
The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot and the guy thought he would try again.
"NO!" the blonde yelled again.
Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy even had her pants unzipped.
"Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?" asked the guy.
"For the last time, NO!" said the blonde.
Frustrated, the guy asked, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde looked at him and said, "Because I wanna stay up here with you."
How come you're late?" asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.
"It was awful," she explained. "I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course."
"What did you do?" asked the bartender.
"I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting!"
LMP: Anyone any idea how many continental hours there are in one Canadian hour?
Dec 14, 2017 10:56:26 GMT
bamber: Certainly isn't 1:1.
Dec 14, 2017 15:18:57 GMT
squirt: I'll tap him on the shoulder today: his email said the import is going to take a long time, cuz of all the threads, posts and users, said it could take a few days
Dec 14, 2017 16:41:44 GMT
bamber: He's signed on to the Roo right now.
Dec 14, 2017 17:00:15 GMT
squirt: hopefully that means that we can soon! lol ♥
Dec 14, 2017 17:11:36 GMT
squirt: it's back up, and ya'll prepare yourselves, it's DIFFERENT! lol
Dec 15, 2017 3:15:06 GMT
roadkill: i cant seem to get on the roo..says oops there is a problem page can not be found..i was there on my other laptop
Dec 20, 2017 20:55:16 GMT
sexylady007: Last night I was able to post for about 10 minutes then this pop back up
Your account is currently awaiting confirmation. Confirmation was sent to Lailaisfree@sbcglobal.net. Resend confirmation email
Now I can't post again I tried to reset it but it's
Jan 3, 2018 14:35:40 GMT
sexylady007: Bamber would you please move where is the music from the video section to the music section thank you sorry I put it in the wrong section. Still can't do anything at the Roo
Jan 3, 2018 16:23:09 GMT
manzy: I let Bamber and squirt know about your message sis
Jan 3, 2018 17:03:44 GMT
bamber: OK Laila I've moved that thread.
Jan 3, 2018 17:17:52 GMT
bamber: You should be OK again on the Roo Laila; I'll PM you too.
Jan 3, 2018 17:20:32 GMT
sexylady007: Thank you Bamber & manzy
Jan 3, 2018 17:21:09 GMT